How are you all doing? We’re halfway through September, and it seems that we’re hurtling our way to the end of this crazy year.
It’s been a weird few weeks for me personally. I’ve been living in a state of near-constant creative inspiration but have been struggling to translate that into action. I’ve had so, so, so many ideas come to me in these last few weeks – about this blog, my design shop, my office work – but I just don’t have anything to show for it. Yet.
I’ve gone back and forth between this creative euphoria to this nagging voice in my head that keeps telling me that I am too lazy, too unqualified to do all the things that I am dreaming of doing. Classic manifestation of imposter syndrome. It’s been tiring, to say the least.
It also didn’t help that the one channel on which I’d been putting in some amount of effort – Pinterest – started to show declining trends in almost all aspects. I know, I know, it’s not about the numbers, but when you put in a fair bit on time and energy into something, you want to see some positive reflection of all that.
Add to all this sorta self-induced pressure, there have been some things on the personal front that I’ve been dealing with. So while I was having a whole lot of creative inspiration, I was actually very, very uninspired to take any action. Which is why I kinda had to take a step back, give myself a breather. Hence the lack of posts here, and almost zero presence on any social media.
I didn’t mean for this to be an endless rant, but this blog is in so many ways a personal showcase of my life. Admittedly, not all parts of my life, but I definitely want to keep this space real and relatable. I just wanted to let you know that if you’re struggling right now – to create something, to move forward, to get unstuck – I feel you, and I hear you. You’re not alone in this.
Anyway, this post is really just a snapshot of my life right now and all the things I’ve been up to. I’d love to hear from you – what have you been up to these last few weeks? How are things in your part of the world?
MY LIFE, CURRENTLY:
Watching: A bunch of things, actually. Probably tied to the fact that I was looking for some distraction from all the negative self talk. So had Netflix on a lot, mostly as background noise, but way more than is usual for me.
Till about a week back, The OC reruns were totally reigning supreme on that front. I made about 75% into Season 2 before giving up – things got really, really crazy after that, and that’s saying something!
I’ve also started watching Away on Netflix. I’m four episodes in, and it seems promising so far. It’s a drama about the lives of astronauts (and their families) on a mission to Mars, and I have no doubt that we’ll soon be seeing a slew of space-travel related shows on TV.
My current obsession is Borgen, though. It’s a Danish political drama, originally made in 2010, and it’s only just begun streaming on Netflix. It’s intriguing and also showcases a culture that we otherwise see so less of on TV.
I also watched Love, Guaranteed last weekend. Okay, “watched” is a bit of a stretch, because I was actually doing some life admin while it mostly played in the background! The story is absolutely predictable, and yet, I kinda liked it!?! Have you seen it yet?
Reading: Station Eleven. Re-reading actually. I read the book for the first time nearly 5 years ago, and I’ve thought about many time since then. More so since the start of the pandemic earlier this year.
This past week, I finally pulled it out of my Kindle pile and started reading it all over again. Emily St John Mandel’s writing is poetic and evocative – something I didn’t fully appreciate the first time around. I am so glad to have the chance to experience that, and this beautiful book, all over again.
Feeling: Overwhelmed. Like I mentioned earlier, despite all the creative inspiration, I’ve been unable to really focus. I’ve tried doing all of the things only to end up doing nothing very well. I feel like I am dreaming too much but not executing enough.
Thinking: a lot about my values, and whether I am truly living a life in sync with my personal value (spoiler alert: I am not, or rather, I haven’t been, for sometime now!).
I re-listened to The Joyful Coach’s podcast episode on identifying your values and I started a bit of a journaling exercise to dive a little further into this. It’s a great episode to listen to, and her podcast is one that I would definitely recommend!
READ MORE: 9 PODCASTS WORTH LISTENING TO
Figuring out: what this Mars retrograde means for me. Astrology has been a bit of a grounding force for me in the last couple of years, and while I won’t say I check my horoscope every day, I appreciate that there is a lot of wisdom in the language of the planets and the moons. A lot of it is still beyond my understanding, but I am always curious what major shifts in the planets means for us personally.
Excited: about this new course from The Manifestation Collective that I joined recently. I’m making my way through the workbooks and it’s been really, really eye opening. The course seems perfect for the shake up that I want/need in my life right now.
Thankful: for this bonus time with my parents.
Dreaming: of better days. In so many ways.
LINKS I LOVED:
This fresh take on Folklore had me listening to the album all over again.
While we’re talking music, Faye’s post on ABBA’s music made for the perfect trip down (musical) memory lane.
Carly’s wedding story truly gave me all. of. the. feels.
This pandemic short film made me want to be a bookstore owner.
On a related note about bookstores, this kind of news about bookstore sales makes me so happy to hear.
I used to be a fan of Everlane, but I didn’t know about a lot of the underlying issues until I read Viktoria’s update about the company.
How to use astrology to help navigate the world in uncertain times (read: 2020) and otherwise.
I am totally here for this one-pan Mexican skillet dinner.
These new Rifle Paper puzzles are absolutely gorgeous!