Life, Lately

How are you all doing? We’re halfway through September, and it seems that we’re hurtling our way to the end of this crazy year.

It’s been a weird few weeks for me personally. I’ve been living in a state of near-constant creative inspiration but have been struggling to translate that into action. I’ve had so, so, so many ideas come to me in these last few weeks – about this blog, my design shop, my office work – but I just don’t have anything to show for it. Yet.

I’ve gone back and forth between this creative euphoria to this nagging voice in my head that keeps telling me that I am too lazy, too unqualified to do all the things that I am dreaming of doing. Classic manifestation of imposter syndrome. It’s been tiring, to say the least.

It also didn’t help that the one channel on which I’d been putting in some amount of effort – Pinterest – started to show declining trends in almost all aspects. I know, I know, it’s not about the numbers, but when you put in a fair bit on time and energy into something, you want to see some positive reflection of all that.

Add to all this sorta self-induced pressure, there have been some things on the personal front that I’ve been dealing with. So while I was having a whole lot of creative inspiration, I was actually very, very uninspired to take any action. Which is why I kinda had to take a step back, give myself a breather. Hence the lack of posts here, and almost zero presence on any social media.

I didn’t mean for this to be an endless rant, but this blog is in so many ways a personal showcase of my life. Admittedly, not all parts of my life, but I definitely want to keep this space real and relatable. I just wanted to let you know that if you’re struggling right now – to create something, to move forward, to get unstuck – I feel you, and I hear you. You’re not alone in this.

Anyway, this post is really just a snapshot of my life right now and all the things I’ve been up to. I’d love to hear from you – what have you been up to these last few weeks? How are things in your part of the world?

MY LIFE, CURRENTLY:

Watching: A bunch of things, actually. Probably tied to the fact that I was looking for some distraction from all the negative self talk. So had Netflix on a lot, mostly as background noise, but way more than is usual for me.

Till about a week back, The OC reruns were totally reigning supreme on that front. I made about 75% into Season 2 before giving up – things got really, really crazy after that, and that’s saying something!

I’ve also started watching Away on Netflix. I’m four episodes in, and it seems promising so far. It’s a drama about the lives of astronauts (and their families) on a mission to Mars, and I have no doubt that we’ll soon be seeing a slew of space-travel related shows on TV.

My current obsession is Borgen, though. It’s a Danish political drama, originally made in 2010, and it’s only just begun streaming on Netflix. It’s intriguing and also showcases a culture that we otherwise see so less of on TV.

I also watched Love, Guaranteed last weekend. Okay, “watched” is a bit of a stretch, because I was actually doing some life admin while it mostly played in the background! The story is absolutely predictable, and yet, I kinda liked it!?! Have you seen it yet?

Reading: Station Eleven. Re-reading actually. I read the book for the first time nearly 5 years ago, and I’ve thought about many time since then. More so since the start of the pandemic earlier this year.

This past week, I finally pulled it out of my Kindle pile and started reading it all over again. Emily St John Mandel’s writing is poetic and evocative – something I didn’t fully appreciate the first time around. I am so glad to have the chance to experience that, and this beautiful book, all over again.

Feeling: Overwhelmed. Like I mentioned earlier, despite all the creative inspiration, I’ve been unable to really focus. I’ve tried doing all of the things only to end up doing nothing very well. I feel like I am dreaming too much but not executing enough.

Thinking: a lot about my values, and whether I am truly living a life in sync with my personal value (spoiler alert: I am not, or rather, I haven’t been, for sometime now!).

I re-listened to The Joyful Coach’s podcast episode on identifying your values and I started a bit of a journaling exercise to dive a little further into this. It’s a great episode to listen to, and her podcast is one that I would definitely recommend!

READ MORE: 9 PODCASTS WORTH LISTENING TO

Figuring out: what this Mars retrograde means for me. Astrology has been a bit of a grounding force for me in the last couple of years, and while I won’t say I check my horoscope every day, I appreciate that there is a lot of wisdom in the language of the planets and the moons. A lot of it is still beyond my understanding, but I am always curious what major shifts in the planets means for us personally.

Excited: about this new course from The Manifestation Collective that I joined recently. I’m making my way through the workbooks and it’s been really, really eye opening. The course seems perfect for the shake up that I want/need in my life right now.

Thankful: for this bonus time with my parents.

Dreaming: of better days. In so many ways.

This fresh take on Folklore had me listening to the album all over again.

While we’re talking music, Faye’s post on ABBA’s music made for the perfect trip down (musical) memory lane.

Carly’s wedding story truly gave me all. of. the. feels.

This pandemic short film made me want to be a bookstore owner.

On a related note about bookstores, this kind of news about bookstore sales makes me so happy to hear.

How to make still life photo art.

This short comic totally made me LOL. (via The Lifestyle Edit)

I used to be a fan of Everlane, but I didn’t know about a lot of the underlying issues until I read Viktoria’s update about the company.

How to use astrology to help navigate the world in uncertain times (read: 2020) and otherwise.

I am totally here for this one-pan Mexican skillet dinner.

These new Rifle Paper puzzles are absolutely gorgeous!

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13 Comments

  1. Great post! I hope things get better. I had a lecturer who said that no one should take big life choices between the months of September and December, because then everyone is stressed and exhausted.

    All the best from South Africa – Michelle (michellesclutterbox.com)

    1. Ha! Don’t think I’ve heard that one before, though there might definitely some wisdom in that. :)

      And yes, I am feeling better this week, so finally getting around to doing all the things I kept pushing back last week. Thank you so much for your kind words, Michelle! 🤗

  2. The beginning of this post was so relatable it was nearly painful. I definitely understand your desire to be creative, but your struggle in actually making things happen. I’ve been feeling that way so often lately! I took a week off of blogging work and then spent one entire day without any screens at ALL (like, I even wrote down a recipe to make and didn’t use my GPS) and it was glorious. I didn’t realize how badly I needed time away from all the stimulation. It had me coming back to my work feeling much more determined and productive! :) Love reading your life updates!

    1. That sounds like the most wonderful day, Stephanie! In these last few months, I think I’ve just gone from one screen to the other to the other over the course of the day, and that’s probably true for most people.

      And thank you – it helps to know that I’m not alone in this struggle. It’s been the weirdest creative season! 🤦‍♀️

  3. I really like the format of this post Shirsha, a very cool way to do a check-in! I feel like I too have been having tons of creative inspiration lately! Like you I am considering my current path in life and wondering if it’s time for a change. I also get you on the self imposed pressure, there’s so many things I want to do on the blog for the upcoming holiday and new years season, but for a lot of it I feel like I really don’t have the follower base for it to take hold. I’m just finishing a course in SEO and plan to start on Pinterest next, so maybe that will make a difference in time. 🤞 Anyhow, hang in there! ❤️

    1. Thank you, Clarissa. I used to do these kind of updates way more often earlier, but hadn’t done it in a while. So thought of bringing it back for periodic updates.

      I completely understand the pressure about the upcoming holiday season. It’s been something I’ve been grappling with myself – how to integrate it into my blog without feeling like a sellout. Even I worry that my follower base is really tiny for any of this to be effective, but I guess I am just hoping to keep doing good, smart work, so that eventually it will work out.

      What course did you take for SEO? I am working my way through the Adventures in SEO course – which covers both Google and Pinterest SEO, and I’ve found it to be really, really insightful. Though to be fair, I am a bit of a course junkie. If I look through my emails long enough, I am sure I will find all sorts of courses related to blogging/design etc.! 🤦‍♀️

      You take care, too! 🤗

  4. I can very much relate to feeling SUPER inspired, but not being able to translate that into anything. I’m just plodding along, making a note of any and every idea – hoping that when my energy returns, I’ll be able to get stuck into bringing a few of them to life. This year has been one big surreal cycle for the most part for me, but here’s to hoping that the final few months of the year offer a little respite. Borgen sounds interesting – I’ll definitely be suggesting to my boyfriend that we give this a go!

    1. I hope you’re doing better now. I’ve been loving your posts and your photography. Can’t wait to see more of your stuff!

      And Borgen was absolutely brilliant. It’s not a perfect show, but definitely worth a watch.

  5. How crazy is it that I also just started watching Away and Love guaranteed. Also I am planning on reading Station eleven finally – it been on my kindle for 5 years. I can also very much relate to your struggle with having a million creative ideas but no energy or/and self confidence to tackle them all. You are not alone it this. If you find motivation let me know so I can implement. Also thanks for the podcast recommendation. Sounds like one I will enjoy.

    1. Thank you for your kind words, Tobia. 💛 How did you like the show and the movie? Station Eleven will be worth your while, I think. :)

      The new month has helped my energy. I feel like I am getting back into a more positive mind space, and thank God for that!